by Simone, MSc Coaching Psychologist

4 min read

Imagine you’re on a road trip. You’ve got snacks, a killer playlist, and a tank full of gas. But here’s the catch—you have no map, no destination, and no clue where you’re going. Fun for the first hour, and for some of us maybe even 24 hours. But pretty soon, some of the landmarks are looking vaguely familiar and you are pretty sure you may be really, really lost.

Values, are a bit like your GPS. Only, they don’t just point you in the right direction—they remind you why the journey matters in the first place. And unlike that out-of-date sat-nav your dad insists still works, values never steer you wrong.  Values are key to motivation - just like autonomy, relatedness and competence - yet most of the people we work with have trouble really naming their values.

What are values? (hint: they’re not goals)

Values aren’t check-boxes on a to-do list. They’re the things that guide you on which direction you choose to follow every day. Think of them as your “how”, rather than your “what.” For example:

• Value: Being healthy.
• Goal: Lose 10 pounds.

Or:

• Value: Being curious about work and a committed to growth.
• Goal: Land a big promotion.

Values are verbs, not nouns. They’re ways of being —not finite tasks to cross off a list. Even if the GPS “recalculates,” your values keep you moving in the right direction.

Why values matter (even for the skeptics)

Still not sold? Let’s address the naysayers.

“Values are fluffy nonsense.”
Not true. Research consistently shows that people who clarify and live by their values experience greater psychological flexibility. Translation: You’ll handle life’s curveballs with less freaking out and more “I know what to do.”

“What’s the point? Life is chaotic.”
Exactly! That’s why values matter. They’re the steady rudder in life’s storm. Without them, you’re at the mercy of every passing wave—hello stress, burnout, and Netflix binges.

“I’m already living my best life.”
Great! Continue as you are. But if your daily actions don’t align with your deeper values, you might be living someone else’s idea of “best.” Time to check in.

Exercises to discover and live your values
Here’s where it gets fun (and a little uncomfortable, in a good way).

- The social media audit

Scroll through your social media accounts.  Are you binging on the latest fashion but avoiding your own challenges? Or watching someone else's drama while your own projects gather dust? What we consume often reveals what we care about.

- The values opportunity

Think about what your values are. Put them down on a page and see what resonates with you and maybe ask a friend or two what they think your values are. Try living a value (like kindness) for a day. Compliment strangers, text your bro/gal, tip generously. Did it feel right? If yes, congratulations.

- The regret rewind

Think of a time you felt really off-track. What were you doing—or not doing—that clashed with your values? Flip the script: what would staying true to your values have looked like?

Why it’s worth it

Living your values doesn’t guarantee sunshine and rainbows. Some days, it’s slogging through rain because you value being healthy or biting your tongue during a meeting because you value being tolerant.  But here’s the kicker: life feels real. It’s messy and beautiful, like eating tacos while walking—chaos sometimes, but worth it.

So, what’s your first step? Pick a value, live it today, and see where it takes you. Spoiler: It’s better than circling a rest stop.